i -am very annoyed- tunes

I was given a shiny black Nano for my happy birthday.
Sounds good yeah?
I guess, one day, I'll probably agree but right now, not really thinking along those lines.
Now, I'll admit, mine is not the tidiest puter when it comes to music. I upload from cds, I download from sites. The songs go into 'My Music'...mostly.
Some I find in the Media Player library, some in the Winamp library...but they're all there, around, somewhere. I can usually find them when I want them.
So, I thought when I jumped thru all the hoops for installing i-tunes, I could just drag & drop from wherever to the i-tunes library & ba-da-bing, there is my new listening toy.
WRONG!
The i-tunes library popped up...with a bunch of my stuff already on it!
This would not have been such a mystery if the content had come from one place, but it didn't! Some uploaded cds (but not all), some downloaded tunes (but not all), some from 'My Music' (you get the idea).
Some are video which I can't play anyway!
Annoying I think....I have to delete before I have even added anything!
No delete...hmmmm. OK, 'Clear' I think is the way to go. I clear one file & double check it's where it came from....ARGH!...NO!!
It's no longer there!
I've lost my precious "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em" vid.
Luckily I can upload it again but HOW FRIGGIN' ANNOYING IS THAT?!
I know if I read up, I will figure out what I need to do (& probably what I did wrong) but I really would just liked to have seen a blank i-tunes library to start with, to fill with my desired music & not random stuff I own.
Not being a big fan of sifting thru stuff to organise it is the reason why my puter's music collection is not the tidiest in the first place!

Oh, & while I'm on this rant. What is the deal with the 'look at the Nano & watch it smudge' thing?! Why is this surface like a 'hot zone'? Couldn't it be made with a surface that you can touch without it looking like it needs decontamination?
It's shiny & pretty, for about a Nano-second & then it looks like crap!
Oh! I get it!