I Do Not Like You Haiku

I do not like you
My skin crawls when you are near
Fuck off you bastard

Now You See It, Now It's Furniture

You grew so majestic & tall for so long
Always bent in the wind but always stayed strong
For years I feared there would come a day
When you would break & not just sway
So we had you killed, chopped up neatly
Tho I had not the heart to say goodbye completely
Now instead of the damage you could have done
We sit & enjoy the furniture you've become
Thank you local landmark for your years of service
Now you can relax & enjoy your new purpose
Your new status to many already is known
Local landmark MarkII - The Palm Throne.

Hugh Haiku

What next Wolverine
The Sexiest Man Alive
= MC²






Van Helsing Drover
Family man Boy from Oz
Perfect sex on legs











The next gig you choose
Think shirtless, sweaty, bare-arsed
Scenes to dream on mmmmmmm

Ode to Ted

Back Bay
That day
You were climbing down the hill
Would you fall
Off the wall
The question gave us a thrill
You fell
Not well
Now the family reads your will
We're sad
They're mad
Greedy hands fight in the till

Ode To A Kitchen Helper

As it's raining today, I'm posting a little ditty I penned last year during the 'Great SoCal Deluge', when everything that wasn't nailed down tightly (& some things that were), washed down thru the humanity that is LA & OC counties, into the LA & Santa Ana rivers & onto the beaches.
Rain here brings a veritable treasure trove of house parts, along with the more mundane tennis balls, dog chew-toys, plastic garden chairs & of course, bamboo.

Where did you come from broken colander?
Someone’s kitchen no doubt.
Did you slide down from Bel Air?
Or were you abused by a 2 year old & thrown out?
Now you are thrashed & discarded
Strewn & abandoned along the shore.
Try to make friends with the bamboo
You can’t drain spaghetti anymore.